Howdy folks, I'm back. Yeah, yeah, yeah...I had another birthday, who'd a thunk it huh? And as bad as that makes me feel you ought'a see some of the folks in here that lost the pool on if'n I would even have another one or not? Even worse that that you ought'a see how pizzed off Nurse Cratchet is!!!

So anyway, to celebrate, me and 'Ol Podunk snuck out of the Home by hidin' in the back of the Polident Van that brings us a load every Friday. We jumped out downtown when he stopped for a red light. Ever thing looked different to me. Of course I ain't been out of the Home since '91 when we got all them really bad spring storms and they wuz afraid we were gonna get hit by a tornado soooo they moved us to a mobile home park, for safety...?

So me and 'Ol Podunk are standin' on the corner in what looked like a bad part of town. I decided to roll me a smoke. I keep my Bull Durham tobacco and papers in this little plastic (lock top) sandwich baggie thing so nurse Cratchet can't smell it and take it away from me. So I pulls out my lil bag and this young feller drives up and says "Hey Old Dude, you're a little old to be dealing aren't you?" and I says "Dealin'? Dealin' whut? Whut in the Hell are you a talkin' about" and he says "Smoke Man..SMOKE! How Much for the bag?" and I says "I don't wanna sell it" and he says "How about a hundred dollars?" and I says "Sold...and ya can have the papers for nuttin' young feller". So I hand the kid this my bag of Bull Durham and just about that time a cop turns the corner and this kids tears out of there like a scalded dog, I reckon he really needed a cigarette and he wuz under age to smoke? Me and Podunk ducked down behind some garbage cans and his til the cop drove on by.

By now Podunk is gettin' hungry so we start lookin' for a place to eat, Podunk says he wants some fried chicken and that sounded good to me too. About 3 blocks down the street we ran into this old wino, Rufus, who asked us for our spare change so he could eat. I told him I didn't have any change, all I had was this hundred dollar bill, but if he'd show us a good place to find some fried chicken like a KFC or a Popye's or sumpin' I'd buy his supper. So he took us to this real, real nice place called Hooters. I'll tell ya, the chicken wuz good, but them wuz the nice'est lil waitresses I've ever seen. Hooters must not pay 'em much cuz all of 'em wuz wearin' shorts and t-shirts that wuz waayy to little...they prolly had bought the uniforms years ago and couldn't afford new ones? But them lil old gals wuz friendly as Hell! And when they all gathered around me and started singin' "Happy Birthday" to me..ya know all kind'a hugged up and all with them lil tight shirts....(gulp) I felt like I wuz 98 again!! We wuz havin' one Helluva time when Nurse Cratchet and 2 of them damned White Coats showed up jumped us.

So I just got out of the broom closet, but all in all I had a wonderful B'Day!