Howdy Gang! Well Nurse Cratchett is on the prowl again lookin' for someone to participate in some medical experiments. Texas A & M always comes here to the Y'all Come Back Saloon, Nursing Home and Fertilizer Plant when they wanna try sumpin' out. I reckon they figger What the Hell, if we kill somebody at the Nursing home it ain't like we kilt somebody who wasn't gonna die soon anyway? Although they have a Point, I ain't in no hurry to go, know what I mean?
Anyway, this Ya Hoo from A & M named professor Snicklefritz comes up with this pill that's is 'sposed to tighten up lose skin and this battery ya put up your..uhhhh...wang (for lack of a better word and cuz girls sometimes read this blog) that is 'sposed to cure erectile dysfunction. Hell I had ED back in days when it wuz still called Old Age and I wasn't about to volunteer. But Nurse Cratchett has this cattle prod on the end of this lil stick she carries around with her and when they asked for volunteers she goosed me in the butt and I yelled and I wuz elected!
Sooo....Ive got this Sears "Dies With a Hard On" battery up the 'Ol wang and I've been takin' the pills for a week. results.....
Every time I blink my eyes my toes curl up and ...
Every time I walk by the TV the channels change
Every time I walk by the micro-wave the bell rings
I am totally erect..which means every time I pee I get it all over my face!
Picture of me in 2007
About Me
- RedNeck_In'Texas
- Old..Ugly..Mean. Being held hostage in this damn Old Folks home
17 comments:
Sounds like your having a really "up"beat week! lol Why don't you get one of those Texas A & M students to sneek you oughta there? Then they could research what happens when an old man is "up" and "out"?-V
Ummm I think your crazy!
C
V, If they wanted to help me out, they ought'a work on a pill that would grow hair back on an old man's head and stop it from growin' out of his ears!!
C, I think you're right. But at least I ain't in a Guy scramble mode!! lol (TY Bulldog)
Speaking of Bulldog, I have very limited resources here. We should ask him how to put music on a blog, I know he has some on his.
I was just now thinking of scrambling me up some guys btw.
C
"her indoors" say you should let us know if they're looking for any more ginea-pigs????
c.
http://www.videocure.com/404.php?url=/music-video-code//.html
your wish is my command.
oh your good bulldog.
Thanks Bull Dog! OK C, I should have music soon huh? I want Orange Blossum Special, k? It's an Old Welsh tune ( I saw what you said you thunk I really wuz Bull Dog on your blog..how'd ya ever figger me out?
With that dentistry and your love of sheep? You have to get up pretty early in the morning, if you want to pull the nylon over my eyes!
I can't add music from here SH, can you go to that URL from there? If all else fails, I can walk you through it maybe.
C
Actuallly, maybe if that's the code I can, let me see.
Nope, it hates me. I can go to the site but I am blocked from the code.
OK..SKRRREEWWWW IT THEN!! I wish I wuz dead...which shouldn't be to far in the future??
happy 4th of july old-timer, (was texas even in IN the union at the time of independence)?
I hope his heart survived the fire works.
Isn't Texas an independent country? I think we sort of disowned it back in.. oh wait that's where everything is bigger, even the tall tales are bigger in Texas. Even the tall people are bigger in Texas. Even the alligators... We would never disown such a big state, the biggest SH in the world loves there.
I hope you had a happy 4th!
C
Sheep man had died, (sob) His funeral wuz spectacular. 45 hookers, 12 drinking buddies and a host of old women attended. A heart felt ulogy was read by the local Budweiser Distributor the brought tears the crowd (also His death has prompted Budweiser to sell out to a foreign company, in the words of the CEO, there goes our profit!!)
nooooooooooooooo...ooooooooooooooo...oooooooooo! he wuz too ..erm........old to die! why must the old ones always go last?
we'll never forget you old timer!
your friends at the altzeimers society.
Ok, what am I supposed to say here? It's wrong, just wrong!!!! Was it about the music? I'm sure someone can bring music? Old age? Well, I guess it could be that. We will truly miss you old guy.
C
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